Warlock Requirements

Reblog from Tumblr by muscletheftgod

ft. Yven Roger (StripRoger)

"LOOK AT THIS! LOOK AT IT! HOLY FUCK, MATE! I'VE GOT A PORN STAR COCK NOW! I'M HIM! I'M ACTUALLY HIM, MATE!!!" 

It was an unbelievable transformation. Gone was the sad little glasses wearing wimp, the always ignored little teenage nobody loser that everyone overlooked. Sylvester was gone. He had woken up as Brent and he'd come crashing into my room, screaming and shouting bloody murder. 

"Calm down! Calm down! You want the neighbors to hear you screaming about your wanger?" I scolded him. "Yes, it worked. Put some clothes on, mate! Jesus." 

"I'm ACTUALLY him! I'm Brent! The Brent! You know what this means, don't you? I can have his life! I can move into his house! I've got my very own house! I'm in college! I'm going to be RICH!" 

"Well then you can buy yourself some underwear! Good Lord, man!" 

"Oh. Right. Sorry. Got excited, WHAT WITH MY NEW GIANT MEMBER HERE! How big do you think this thing'll get?" 

"I don't care. As long as acid isn't spouting out of it, like something from Alien, I've done my part." 

"Brilliant. Brilliant! I can't believe it WORKED!" 

"Of course it worked. I told you I was for real. Get some clothes on." 

"Can't. Mine don't fit anymore. Not over THIS muscular delicious bod! Look at my MUSCLES, mate!" 

"AlRIGHT. I get it. Look, I'll dig around. I should have thought about this before." 

I went through the closet while Sylvester...er...BRENT ogled himself in the bathroom mirror. He was infatuated with himself, and his face was in absolute ecstasy. I'd never seen ANYone that happy before. If I wasn't chronically depressed, I'd say I should swap bodies with a narcissistic rich asshole with a huge wanger, but then I'm expressly forbidden from doing that without permission. Still, I can right injustices. Make karmic good. Blah blah blah. I'm fulfilling my duty to my stupid family's stupid Warlock Council. I hate being a warlock, truth be told. All I really want to be is a marine biologist. I want to work with sea slugs. I don't really care what anyone thinks of that, but my mother and father have other plans for me. SO I fulfill my stupid warlock requirements every month and this month I chose to swap Sylvester with his old bully Brent. I hate Brent, so it made my assignment easy. 

I brought out some of my uncles clothes. They were a big large for "Brent" but whatever. They draped over his muscular frame and the shorts were a nicer fit due to his large muscular thighs filling them up. I must say, he does have unusually nice thighs for a bloke. 

"I am going to POUND my way through every hole in Brisbane!" he announced, overjoyed. 

"Yeah, well...first we have to get you to your destination so you can give Brent the good news that you've stolen his body and you won't give it back until...I dunno...you've both learned a lesson or something." 

"You don't really sound happy for me." 

"I don't ever sound happy. I'm not really happy or unhappy. I want to be on a beach collecting specimens. And instead I have to go to a special magic school in another stupid dimension." 

"POOR you! I'd give anything to be in your shoes! Oh. Wait a minute. No I wouldn't. Because I have the best body ever now!" 

I had to admit. I was happy for him. I told him so. Even though I had no real enthusiasm. For this or anything else I did for the Warlock Council. 

"Alright. Let's get you home. Jiggity jig and all that. Oh wait, I have to call Brent. He's probably woken up as you." I phoned the bastard. I really didn't react at all during our conversation. 

"Yeah. Uh huh. I know. Yeah. I know. Yeah. Calm down, mate. Yeah, I believe you. You swapped bodies with Sylvester. Yeah. I know. Yeah, I did it. Yeah." I turned to Sylvester who had a worried look on his face. "He's got quite a potty mouth, this one." I turned back to the phone. "Brent, I think, really, you need to calm down. You swapped bodies. It's not like you died and have to be a ghost or anything. It's not the end of the world. That's not for another few decades." 

"It's what now?" Sylvester asked, stopping his bicep flexing momentarily. 

"Oh. Nothing. Look, Brent," I turned my attention back to my phone. "We should just come down and sort this all out, yeah? Yeah. That's a good man. Nice and easy. Deep breaths and all. Everything is going to be alright, hunky dory and all that. Now, just hang tight and we're on our way. Yes, of course Sylvester is in your body. Who else would be in your body?" I turned back to Sylvester and covered up my phone. "Not exactly a rocket scientist, now is he?" I turned back to Brent. "Just don't go anywhere. We're on our way." 

Driving Brent over gave me a chance to think about my homework assignment. I was supposed to correct a horrendous wrong with a karmic balance. Well, this was a perfect fit and I was sure to get an A. And if I got an A, I was closer to getting my magic diploma, and if I got that I could actually go for a real degree in the real world and ignore my stupid parents forever for the rest of my life. But I had to go Warlock School because my family's lives depended on it and they'd turn me into a manatee or something if I turned them down, so whatever. Off to Brent's house! 

"I'm going to bang just so many pussy," Sylvester droned on, in love with the sound of his new jock voice. There are so many women I'm going to get to bang now! I can finally lose my virginity, Matt! You're the absolute best!" 

"Yeah, it's great," I said, bored out of my mind. "Glad you're enjoying it. Oh, look at that piece over there. She's quite right, isn't she?" I told him. I was depressed, not blind. A woman who could have been a model waltzed on by the crosswalk as I stopped my car. "Very nice, very nice. What say you, Brent? Eh, Jock Boy?"

"Yeah. She's alright. I guess."

"You GUESS? She's top notch. Alright. Off we go." 

Sylvester was unusually quiet on the way to Brent's. The house itself was gorgeous. Top notch. Very classy. His parents must be LOADED. When we got there, the wanker was just apoplectic. The minute we got inside, he was threatening me left and right. 

"What are you going to do? You don't know magic. I mean, you look like Harry Potter's anorexic cousin, but you don't know magic." 

"Hey! I don't look that bad! Do I?" Sylvester asked. 

"Mate, I'm not in the mood to sugar coat with you right now," I told him. 

"Both of you are DEAD! DEAD, you hear me!" the shrill little nerd voice cut through the air, his voice cracking. "I am going to...to...JUST PUT ME BACK IN MY BODY, YOU-" Brent in Sylvester's body went on an expletive filled tirade. 

"Mate, no offense, you couldn't beat up a baby seal pup now, not with those pipe cleaners. I know MMA and I'm in good shape. I could hang your ass to you and Sylvester over here is a golden god now, so really it's all about, you know. Making it up to him for all the times you beat him up, blah blah blah. Look, I have a class to get to so you think you guys will fine on your own? You will? Splendid!" 

"You can't leave! He can't leave! Don't you dare leave!" Brent was still not grasping the situation was not under his control. 

"I am indeed leaving," I told them both. "Have fun exploring each other's bodies and learning important lessons, yada yada yada. Karma assignment completed." 

"I will absolutely destroy you!" The meager little nerd face looked up at me. Way up. 

"Look," I said, my voice dripping with contempt. "Short King. Find a fucking dwarf fetishist. Take up limbo dancing. You should be good at it now. Make the best of things. Learn lessons. Blah blah blah. I'm gone. Both of you fuck off and learn something important and I'll turn you back in a few days or weeks or whatever." 

"What do you mean, WHATEVER?" Brent shouted in Sylvester's quite frankly faggy little voice. 

Anyway, I left them alone to work things out as they explored what it was like to be a jock in a nerd's body and a nerd in a jock's body and all that jazz. And a few hours later Sylvester calls me with his hot jock voice and he's nervous and I was having lunch with a pair of hot Chinese sorceress sisters. My phone was interdimensionally linked. So he starts raving and ranting about how his dick won't get excited by any girls and then he started rummaging about Brent's room and found a ton of muscle mags. 

"And I got excited! Looking at MEN! Brent is gay! For MEN!" 

"That is how gay usually works, Sylvester!" 

"I don't want to be GAY! I want to be a buff straight muscle fuckstud!" 

"Well, this is perfect! Living in each other's shoes! An unexpected scenario! Man, I'm sure to get an A now! My professors love all that woke touchy feely garbage! Have fun being your new gay self!" 

"I don't to have fun being my new gay self! I want to be my old straight self but with a muscular bod to die for with my arms draped around the Sheilas like no one's business!" 

"Well imagine how Brent feels. He's now a small little straight nerd boy with NO chance at getting with girls! You two are perfectly matched up!" 

"HOW ARE WE PERFECTLY MATCHED UP!" 

I thought about it for a few seconds. How were they perfectly matched up. 

"Look, neither of you got what you wanted, so that makes it perfect. You have to learn to just go with things. Go with the flow. Learn to be gay. He can learn to be straight. You'll have wacky adventures. Haven't you ever seen a body swap movie? They're full of fun adventures!" 

"I hate you so much right now." 

"Well, you can both fuck the hell off, then. Ta!" I got back to a very interesting conversation with the Wang sisters and we went back to my place for a study session. I'm not so depressed now, truth be told. I am making due with what I have right now. 

ONE WEEK LATER

Well, MY life is just doing great. My professors are very happy with the progress Sylvester is making as Brent. He was resistant at first, but now he's addicted to sucking cock and putting his big custard chucker in every hot bloke he can find. More power to him. I questioned him about working out. Brent had insisted that Sylvester keep up his exercise regimen in Brent's amazing jock bod. And Brent. Well, he's still living with Sylvester in his house. The two of them are living together. I thought that was nice of them to work that out so they can help each other act the part and all. Brent is learning that he shouldn't have been a cocky asshole and he probably did so because of the fact that he didn't want anyone to know he was gay, but quite frankly Sylvester blew the hell out of his cover. That man was about to explode and he's lost his virginity about ten times over. Neither of them has gotten any homework done. I hope their grades don't completely collapse. I chewed them both out for that and they told me to go fuck myself. 

"Maybe I'll swap with a handsome gay bloke and do just that. See, unlike you bitches, I'm not really afraid of experimentation. It'll have to wait, though. I'm not allowed to transform myself until I turn 25. Some stupid warlock rule. Anyway, let's see if you've learned your lesson yet!" I pulled out an amulet that was supposed to glow green if they had both come to some kind of karmic understanding. It didn't glow any color, which was a bad sign. "Alright, which one of you isn't learning anything?" 

"Him! He refuses to do anything in my body! He isn't even going outside!" Sylvester said, completely at home in his new gay muscle bod. I do all the work and do my exercises and he just mopes around alot!" 

"Brent," I admonished. "Is that true? You should go out and try to meet women and then I can get an A and you two can go back to normal and we can all move on!" 

"This is humiliating!" 

"Well yes it's called karma, and karma ain't a walk on the beach. Speaking of which, you two should take a trip to the beach! Spend some time together bonding. Become buddies! Pals! Or at the very least, casual acquaintances." 

"Am I going to take dating advice from him? He's turned my body into a nonstop fuck factory!" 

"God, sex feels so good!" Sylvester moaned in his new jock voice. "I just want to pound it out with hot studs all the time. Why didn't you do it more when you were in here?" 

"Because I don't want anyone to know I'm gay, alright? I had a great life before you came along and mucked it all up!" 

"You had a great life pretending to be straight?" I questioned. "Doesn't add up. See...you got your wish. Don't you see? You can try to be straight now. And hey, I bet when you actually walk a mile in those straight shoes and you try to get with some sweet girl and show her your true..um...nature. Just find something deep down. For me. And my grade. It's down there. Way deep down." 

"Fine. Whatever. Just tell me this ends soon!" 

"This ends soon. Well, bye!" 

ANOTHER WEEK LATER 

"So, how's things?" 

We were all convened in the living room once more. I took out my amulet. Nothing glowed. 

"Alright. What's going on? Update me, boys." 

"I tried to get laid. I actually have gotten with girls before but this body? I'm positively PUNY. A total pipsqueak." 

"Did you try and show off the house and tell them you live here? I mean, you have to sell yourself. Say you're rich," I told him helpfully. 

"His confidence is pretty gone. Shattered, really," Sylvester said. "I try to give him pep talks. I mean, I feel great about myself. I love my new life!" 

"Good to know," I said worriedly. "So you've adapted...well, then." 

"Oh yeah! I fucking LOVE being gay, man. Everyone wants a piece of this action! I've got hot blokes lining up for kilometers to get with me! I even tried to be his wingman. Took him out to pubs." 

"They all carded me. Said I looked like a 14 year old." 

"So we tried the beach. And some parks. I tried everything. Played the part of the best gay friend and all that." 

"Maybe there's something I can do to speed things up," I said, rather impulsively. I went through my textbook "Psychological Magic and You" and found one pertaining to gay straight swaps. "Ah, now, it says here that you will definitely swap back if you learn about how to neutralize your ego with a sexual encounter that is meaningful and romantic and moves your soul in a way that it didn't previously encounter. Humility. That's what's needed." 

"Dude, I just want to fuck all day long with this thing. My cock is fucking magic! I can cum like a fucking fountain, mate! Want to see?" 

"No! Brent...I mean, Sylvester. You need to concentrate. Both of you. You have to find meaning in this swap. Something that really makes you think about how hard it is to be the other person. And you have to change to, you know, feel that. And stuff." Sylvester in Brent's body just shrugged. "Okay, I'll try this spell. It might give you your original sexuality back, Brent. It might be easier for you if you're gay again. Let's see, oh yes. I have to meditate for a while." 

I excused myself and sat down on a bed. Lord, this place was nice. Anyhoo, I drew up all the energy plans and realized I had to donate some energy of my own to this equation. It was complicated. Sylvester was really enjoying being gay and I didn't want to interrupt his um...lesson learning about that so I figured I could donate some male energy to Brent. I started sucking the straight energy out of Brent and was going to put some gay energy from Sylvester in there so they'd both be bisexual. I was winging it. Look, I'm still new to magic, okay? 

Anyway, I blacked out. When I came to, Brent was gay again in Sylvester's body and Sylvester had grown a little bit older. He looked like he was in his mid 20s now. He was even sexier than he had been. Stubble was thicker. His voice was a bit deeper. He was even a bit taller! I wasn't really sure what had happened. I was simply directing energy currents but the important thing was that Brent was gay again. So I fucked off and came back. 

WEEK THREE 

Three weeks had passed since the initial swap and I'd written up my report and now all I needed was a successful ending. When I got there...I should have seen it coming but...well....Brent was taking it up the rear end and Sylvester was giving it to him pretty damn hard. I could hear them from the front door. I mean, good Lord, lads. 

Sylvester and Brent both declared, shockingly, that they were in love. They had fallen in love and they were definitely enjoying the last week. They had worked out all the issues they had. There were definitely some screaming out loud arguments. I viewed them on my crystal ball later. Lots of fighting about how Brent had picked on Sylvester and now Sylvester was the big man of the house and Brent was the little bitch boy. Sucking on his former cock was glorious for him. He worshiped his former body. He had been SO in love with himself that it was almost TOO easy for him to fall in love with Sylvester occupying his body. 

Well, this was a mess. The amulet glowed green and then it glowed blue. That meant...uh oh. That meant...they were actually happy and would totally resist swapping back. 

I had to go to the Dean's office with this one. They just told me to send some forms to administration and so I did and they sent them to Dimensional Body Claims and they wrote to someone at Chronivac which is I suppose a network hub of some sort. Anyway, I was told after two whole days of paperwork that I could just simply file the case away and they would store it. And that would be that. 

Meanwhile...

"You ready for another round, faggot?" 

"Yes, SIR. Your body is so perfect, SIR." 

"Yeah, you like feeling your former big dick fucking you, don't you, little man?"

"Yes. Yes. YES YES YES YES YES!" Brent moaned and moaned. He was a little nerd bitch now. He would be for the rest of his life. He didn't care. It was worth it. He got to worship his former body. He got to suck that man juice right out of his former frame. Now, he didn't have to worry about working out. That was all the NEW Brent's job! He didn't have to worry about anyone finding out he was gay. the NEW Brent would take the heat for that and he was so fucking amazing about it and so unbelievably CONFIDENT! Sylvester in his new body had found his calling. He was going to make an amazing CEO at his new father's corporate offices. He commanded attention wherever he went and soaked it all up all the time. Sure it went to his head, but Brent had always felt anxiety about his life's responsibilities. He actually like the submissive role he now had: making the NEW Brent happy! He was going to be a good little housewife faggot. His job would be to follow the old Sylvester around for the rest of his life, always looking up at his powerful, masculine SIR. It made him happy to be called Cum Dumpster. It made him happy to give the NEW Brent massages and suck his delicious cock. 

And as for me? I only got a B+ and I took what I could get. But all this had got me thinking that maybe I should experiment and go gay for a little while. There HAD to be a bunch of gay guys that wanted to switch sexualities with me out there. And that would make for a great project. My professors would totally give me an A for that! 

THE END